Soul Shamans

NEW SOUL ART DOLL WORKSHOP!

2011-11-15T08:47:00.007-07:00

I am facilitating a Soul Art Doll Journey in my new home studio space in Boulder on Sunday, December 4th. I am so happy to begin teaching again following the completion of my degree in Counseling Psychology at Regis University last August. The workshop is filling up quickly. Please contact me if you are interested in joining us!

Below are photos from a wonderful Soul Doll workshop I facilitated at the home of Judy Masseli in Denver. We had an amazing group of wildy creative women. Thank you Judy!

Happy Feet!

Carolyn Deep in Process

Judy and Me

The Artful Bird Inspiration

2011-03-14T12:22:00.010-06:00

Abby Patner Glassenberg's book "The Artful Bird" is my latest inspiration. I am an intuitive artist. All of this clearing and grieving has inspired me to expand my technical skills...just a bit. My birds may not even be birds by the time my process kicks in...It is fun to see what might come through at any moment!

In this photo you can see "The Hide and Seek" sailing in the midst of all of the inspiration created by my friend, Julie, in England from My Curious Tea Party. There is also a small picture of an owl from The Artful Bird book by another favorite artist, Ann Wood. And, of course, Ganesh dancing among the creative forces.

I finally was able to replace my Viking sewing machine that was waylaid in my life transition. I couldn't take it out of the box for almost a week because George claimed it as his own the moment that it arrived. It felt like he may have been on the nest waiting for the beloved eggs to hatch! The process is beginning once again...Here is a peek at the evolution of my small home studio as well.

"Resurgence"

2011-02-09T17:14:00.009-07:00

"Resurgence" in Process

Here is my first painting in so very long...in process. I realized today that I have been having such a lovely time pouring over the images in everyone elses blogsites...It is time for me to return to myself. Find my artistic voice once again...always in a new way. Following so much turmoil and trauma after my year of many moves and so much loss. New beginnings are emerging. Like the brightest green sprouts of new grass...bursting through the now melting ice.

I allowed myself today to simply get my brush moving...both rapidly and slowly. I had to remind myself of the words that I use with my students when helping them to move through blocks and judgments and fears and frozen feelings. The flow is returning. Slowly. In its own time. In its own way. Patience. Presence. Breath. Trust. Trust in the process. All I have to do is show up. And...get out of my own way. Isn't this the key to life? It is to mine anyway...

PAINT WASHING SUNDAY

2011-01-23T13:48:00.020-07:00

My Lascaux Resonance Gouache paints are infused with Bio-information. They smell like essential oils and have healing properties. So delectable!

I resurrected many of my paints today! It looks like someone has been murdered in technicolor in my bathtub...Not to mention my clothes and my glasses!

I found a nice oak easel on craigslist yesterday...and a table to hold my paints and brushes. More new beginnings...Or at least, finding my way back to myself in small, and sometimes large, gestures. I placed the easel so that I can observe my creations from my bed when I wake up in the mornings.

George is my studio manager. He oversees all projects. He has been spending a lot of time holding the space underneath my new easel!

Frenchy was thrilled that I stayed home this morning to splash paint all over the bathroom. It made me a captive audience for his ball throwing obsession...

New Beginnings

2011-01-16T13:33:00.010-07:00

A year of letting go, grief, and loss...Preparing for new...a new year...a new home in Denver...Joyful return to my art, MYSELF, and my blog!...slowly rebuilding...
Small Mandalas kept me connected to my art and to my soul during the turmoil...

So happy to begin the reconnection process and to have a new home...in a new city! I lost everything I owned six months ago...including my clothes, my furniture, my bed, my art supplies...I still have what is most important...my soul, my animals, and my friends. I learned a lot in this transition. Life is not about "things." It IS about art though!!! I feel the spark of creativity igniting once again deep in my soul. I am curious to see what will be revealed next...I sense a Phoenix rising from the ashes...(Interesting that one of my last creations was "My Homeless Self." I think I'll be making a lovely, joyful "Home" as my first project this year!!!)

New Dolls and Soul Doll Workshop

2009-10-28T16:23:00.013-06:00

The Scarab Ox Woman came from a combination of two dreams. One dream was about being rescued and supported in a victorious way from an abusive situation. There was a giant, powerful Ox standing in the doorway to support me unequivocally. I have also been having dreams about ancient giant beetles. I was immediately mesmerized by an assortment of vintage Egyptian scarab beads that one of the participants in my Soul Doll workshop brought to sell.

My Homeless Self came through in a powerful way after watching the movie "The Soloist." I think that we all have some form of her deep inside of us. A longing for "home." It may be a part of the nature of being human and experiencing a separation from the Divine. I love the shopping cart! It turns on a dime. I also used photographs of me when I was a child. I am sitting in the mini-cart being held by the larger self doll.

A photo "tree" attached to the shopping cart with pictures of me with my father.

Close up of my two selves safely contained in their shopping carts. The cart is adorned with strings of tiny brass Indian bells and miniature wind chimes! There is also a Native American dream catcher on the bow of the cart.

Participants in my "Soul Doll" workshop at Tactile Arts Center in Denver!

Hello everyone! Apparently, I have taken a summer break from blogging...I am starting to, finally, feel like myself again following my surgery. Even better than before! I am now teaching my "Soul Doll" workshops which is a dream come true for me. I will post my Spring schedule soon. Thanks for your support on my journey back!

Sand Tray Extravaganza

2009-07-14T12:58:00.034-06:00

I took this photo the night that I completed this Sand Tray. Buddha is watching from above and Hanuman sits on the altar table below...He reminds us that we are spiritual beings...

A full daytime view of the gathering...

Here is one of my "Alchemical Warriors." She is being held in the arms of the Great Mother. I feel a sense of peace when I look at her.

This photo shows a statue of Gaia sitting below Quan Yin. You can also see a wonderful wooden horse puppet who lost his strings. Another "Warrior" is leaning against the horse. She has a large green crystal heart on her body.

Another "Alchemical Warrior" with an African porcupine quill for a sword. He's riding in BaBa Yaga's pestle!

I like this mysterious night view of two folk art dolls with the wooden horse. They are standing in front of a mounted Nature Mandala.

Here is the "Pink Goddess Alchemical Warrior." She has an owl and a carved, wooden Japanese Netsuke that is a snake. I painted a design on this feather..

You can see part of another "Alchemical Warrior" on the left. She has a large blue muscle shell on the front of her body. I love how Mary watches over all of the activity...

In my graduate program in Counseling Psychology, we spent the entire day Friday exploring sand trays. The moment that I arrived home, I realized that the carved antique boat given to me by a friend was about to be transformed into a giant sand tray. The next day, I brought 300 pounds of sand into the middle of my living room and set to work. The transformation that took place both physically and spiritually was profound. It turned into a giant healing altar that is giving me great comfort and delight!

A few weeks ago I had six dolls pour through my fingers at once. I call them my "Alchemical Warriors." They represent important parts of myself. They are all participating in this tray. I have included pictures of three of them from close angles.

This week, I have been building a new set of shelves next to the sand tray so that my collection of objects for the tray can be readily visible for the creation of many more trays. I have asked friends to participate if they would like to contribute any found objects to this evolving project. I use everything that feels appropriate...angels, driftwood, bones, shells, toy figures, dolls, statues...The possibilities are limitless. I can feel my soul soaring just thinking about it!

Magical Swan Fairy Garden

2009-07-10T21:30:00.017-06:00

A more formal Fairy Garden with swans swimming in the antique "pond."If you look closely at the photo below, you can see that there are swans swimming in the vintage, mounted postcard as well!

A large box of these beautiful shells arrived on my doorstep a few weeks ago. My dear friend from Santa Barbara, Theresa, collected them in the Yucatan in 1978 and decided that I would certainly make good use of them now...an accurate assumption!

A large Guardian Angel watches over the garden on the right hand side of the photo...a bit like my special angel, Grace.You can see a smaller Guardian Angel inside the garden in the photo below.

A full view of the miniature garden world. I got the blue cradle at my favorite thrift store for $3.00! I also used pieces of driftwood from the beach in Santa Barbara around the edges...more gifts from my lovely care packages from friends and family!

I love making these magical gardens! In my final class for the summer in my Counseling Psychology program today we made Jungian sand trays both as a group and individually. The timing was so appropriate in light of my recent gardening adventures!

I had a dream the night that I created this Fairy Garden that I had a new tiny uterus that was growing in an antique dish in this garden. It was wrapped in a pod of ancient leaves. I woke up with a wonderful sense of new growth and possibility.

Fairy Garden

2009-07-01T09:40:00.013-06:00

I love this photo of the garden fairies sharing a relaxing visit in the cool garden.

A view through the fence at the entrance to the garden...

This lovely garden poured through my fingers yesterday. It is giving me a great sense of joy and magic!

I have been spending some good healing time in my fairy garden over the past month. I am happy to be able to post some photos of my garden and my companions in the garden. I have missed all of you, my blog friends...I am making an effort now to balance my outdoor time with a little catching up with you and your blogs.

Thank you for all of your supportive emails. I am still quite focused on my healing process. It has been quite a journey. I am embracing it and enjoying the many healing modalities that have presented themselves to me...including my miniature garden worlds! Now I am inspired to make a larger version on my patio that may include some plants that will tolerate the winter...with room for a few fairy houses on the property...

Reemergence of My Mermaid Self

2009-05-25T11:37:00.018-06:00

The peaceful face of Moon Butterfly...

She is both a chrysalis and a butterfly at the same time.

Moon Butterfly flows like a bride of the sea...

This is Red Celestial Mermaid. She is actively involved in a process of cellular transformation...

I realized that the driftwood on this mermaid's head looks like a vision that I had of my own healing...A trunk of a beautiful tree growing many new branches...

Here are the art pieces that have been flowing through me over the past few weeks. I am happy to say that I am finally beginning to feel like myself again following my surgery. It feels as if my soul has returned to my body. My life force is becoming strong once again.

I am involved in a time of deep healing. These dolls represent quite accurately the transformational process I am experiencing as I return to my life in what feels like a new way. I feel changed on a cellular level and devoted to emerging even stronger than before. My vision regarding the future of my art process and my healing art doll classes is coming forth with crystal clarity. I will share more with you as my plans evolve...

Thank you for all of your emails of support during the challenging past four months. I am looking forward to catching up on your fabulous lives and creations!

Sushi, Bead Workshop, and Lovely Gift!

2009-04-28T16:23:00.016-06:00

"Your Current Safe Boundaries Were Once Unknown Frontiers"

I had a dream last night about meeting a wonderful man for sushi. You will see below that the quote that I used around the plate in my drawing was waiting for me in my mailbox when I returned home last night. I had just finished a therapy session related to opening myself up to the possibility of having a loving relationship with a wonderful man one day...I put the Japanese symbol for love at the top and marriage at the bottom.

Here is a photo of me with Robin Atkins at her Bead Embroidery workshop in Denver last weekend. It was such a treat to finally meet her in person! I also took her Beaded Treasures workshop. It brought tears to my eyes to see her beadwork pieces in person...so lovely and inspiring. I learned so much! I haven't left the house all week...I can't stop beading!

Here is part of my bead sampler from the embroidery workshop...Making barnacles is my favorite today! I am hiding things inside of them...stars, photos...very magical.

Here is the beautiful, colorful, gift from Jacky in Australia that was waiting for me in my mailbox last night! I was so taken with the synchronicity of the hand lettered quote! I have been comtemplating it ever since...I am challenged to let go of some boundaries that are now remnants of fear related to past experiences. I am ready to consider stepping forward into a relationship with a wonderful man when the time is right...

And, at last, here is the beautiful Klimt doll that Jacky created specially for me. What an honor! Thank you, Jacky...How did you know to use the luscious pink and orange??? Maybe you were peaking at my house/studio photos...I am very touched and grateful.

White Buffalo Woman

2009-04-17T17:23:00.017-06:00

I had a dream that I was the White Buffalo Woman. I was riding a giant buffalo along a cliff on an open prairie. There was a voice instructing me to perform a ritual and look for a vision.

It felt so wonderful to make her. She just poured through my fingers and showed me what she looked like...Quite magical...

The Buffalo represents "Manifesting Abundance Through Right Action and Right Prayer" according to Animal Speak by Ted Andrews.

George had his own idea of a vision for this photo shoot. He settled in for a snowy spring nap with Buffalo Woman.

I am exploring many alternative options to speed my surgery recovery. Medically induced menopause has proved to be a far greater challenge than I ever imagined. I am striving to balance my hormones, brain chemistry, emotions, and physical healing.

I am constantly surprised that this journey is not more clearly charted or acknowledged by the medical profession. One day, I will write an article or possibly numerous articles relaying my experience...Right now it is taking all of my strength to navigate it. I am so grateful for my art and all of you! I know that White Buffalo Woman is bringing me a message of hope...

My 50th Birthday Life Mask Ritual

2009-04-03T15:28:00.013-06:00

I used deer antler tips for the horns. She ended up looking like a Viking from under the sea!

I poured acrylic paints right into my hands and rubbed it directly onto the plaster. I like the crackly effect that happened naturally with the many layers of paint.

I used long strands of horse hair combined with yarn and "seaweed" for the hair.

My 50th Birthday is on Monday. I decided to experiment with life-mask construction in honor of the occasion. I have been drawn to explore mask making for a while now. I spent much of this week in my basement applying bandages soaked in plaster to my face while looking in a mirror that I attached to my painting easel.

The journey has been powerful, revealing, at times unsettling, a bit allergic, sometimes comical, and quite intriguing overall. I made three masks in one day. I began the process by placing a blob of plaster directly into my eye. When my vision returned, I had some fun learning about the layering and shaping process. I also learned that removing Vaseline from my hair is quite challenging!

I have a sense that I have been giving birth to myself in the basement this week. I still have two masks left to decorate...Doing this process alone was quite an intense experience both physically and emotionally. I am looking forward to exploring it further possibly in a group setting...

Spirit Animal Collage

2009-03-21T10:29:00.013-06:00

I miss you all! I am having some severe pain that the doctors are having difficulty diagnosing. Kidney stones, shingles... I have had many tests, etc. to no avail. This part of my journey is quite difficult. I am doing a lot of acupuncture treatments along with pain management which I am hopeful may help me eventually-but not yet...

This is the first piece of artwork that I have been able to do over the past month. It is a very healing piece. It even has a piece of my red fox's tail and a feather from the "horn" of my great horned owl! And a photo of me with George, of course! The coins of abundance fell onto the collage at the very end...at one in the morning to be exact!

When I look at this creation, I have the sense that my spirit is returning to my body following the surgery...It is just a bit of a rocky reentry to the atmosphere of my life...

Medicine Man Doll and Thank You!

2009-02-24T08:24:00.014-07:00

My daughter, Caroline, and I made this Medicine Man Doll together for her boyfriend in England.It was fun to create together! I am surprised and touched by how similar are creative styles are...

Here I am with Caroline during our post-surgery pedicure celebration! She worked very hard caring for me after surgery. She even loved me when I was crabby! Caroline left for England the day after this photo was taken...

Thank you all so very much for your fortifying insights and support regarding life and rage! You all mean so much to me...You are part of my tribe of wise, fabulous women. I am so lucky and grateful to share my life and my art with you! I have a fantasy that one day we will have a chance to meet...maybe renting a beach house or cabin somewhere with great food, sharing, hikes, and art projects...

My rage has settled for the moment. I have been doing therapy related to it as well as some wonderful acupuncture sessions...and massage. The Chinese herbs kicked in at 4am to help me with the medication related constipation. What an interesting, difficult at times, and revealing journey this is! I am battling some depression at the moment as well...I am hoping that it will lift some when I am able to exercise again. I can't wait to swim again!

I was talking with Susan this morning about dividing up the magnificent crystal curtain from the Academy awards...Anyone interested in sharing it with us???

I am working on a wild looking large, red owlish bird that began emerging yesterday afternoon...I'll give you a peek later this week!

Rage Doll and The Raven

2009-02-17T10:56:00.019-07:00

Three weeks following my surgery I am experiencing tremendous bouts of uncontainable rage. It is quite unsettling and quite unlike me. I am trying to befriend this new emotion or, at least, to sit with it in acceptance for the moment. This Rage Doll poured through me this weekend. She may have saved many innocent bystanders from experiencing my wrath had I dared to go out in public rather than stay inside my womb-like studio and express through my creation.

The beads pouring out of her mouth beautifully express the rage pouring forth from me related to a combination of issues from my past, recovering from surgery, and hormonal attempts at rebalancing. After I finished making her, I noticed that she has a regal mermaid-like quality. She appears beautiful, centered, and powerful even in her ragefullness.

She is holding a sea shell in her triumphant raised hand that symbolizes once again my ovary...the one that was taken and the one that remains...I am so grateful for my ability to create through process! This journey contains both extreme challenges and a deep richness...I probably would have it no other way...

P.S. I found this fabulous Folkmanis Raven puppet by chance today. She embodies so much of how I am feeling as well as the mystery behind all of this turmoil. She gets along well with my Rage Doll self. In one of my favorite books, Animal Speak, her characteristics are Magic, Shapeshifting, and Creation. Raven "teaches how to go into the dark and bring forth the light...This is creation." I relate to her disheveled feathers, slight air of irritability, sense of humor, and great access to deep wisdom...I am taking her to school with me tonight!

Art Doll Quarterly "Mystic Bride" and More!

2009-02-10T10:30:00.029-07:00

Here is my"Mystic Bride" bead and bone doll published this week in the Spring issue of Art Doll Quarterly! Look for two more in the Summer issue!

Here is a close-up of her beaded features...I incorporated sea glass and butterflies into the design of her face. She has winsome eyes. She may be longing for a Prince who is more than just a frog...

A lovely surprise healing Mermaid from my friend, Ellen! She arrived in a gold tin box with a coveted scrap of gold lame fabric. Delicious! I feel better already! Thank you Ellen!

A "Guardian Spirit" for my surgery sent to me by my dear friend Bobbi. I was actually able to bring the spirit doll with me into the operating room!

These dolls came through as a set of three sisters just before my surgery. The third sister is Japanese. She has not revealed herself completely yet. This is Elderisa and The Mermaid. The first time that I held Elderisa in my arms, I wept. She reminded me of holding my babies for the first time. She helped me to access the many feelings that I had regarding the loss of my uterus. They both stayed in my bed with me in the hospital!

My Kitty and Amelia dolls came from my beautiful and talented friend, Dot in Australia. I ended up receiving an unexpected gift of a real kitten, George, while Dot's creation was winging its way across the seas! The Amelia doll was wearing the same pink bell that George has on his collar when she arrived! George loves her too! These two creations kept me smiling in the hospital...They were a part of the "Art Tour" that gathered more attendance each day in my room!

I was so excited to find this nest last night when I walked out to get my mail! It feels so hopeful to me as I continue on my path to recovery...I wonder what eggs will grow inside of my "new nest" as the Springtime unfolds for me...

It actually looks like a heart without the bowl...I always thought of my uterus as my second heart...

A Glorious Tribute to My Uterus!

2009-02-04T14:30:00.013-07:00

My embellished uterus is 14 inches wide by 12 inches high...

The golden angel has one hand on my seashell ovary and another on my elaborate cervix!

Photos related to the surgery...Healthy me with kitty, George. Surgery doll. Me with my surgeon. My children when they were young.

Thank you all for the tremendous support during the process of my surgery! I was so happy to experience the healing process of creating and decorating my own version of the transformation and honoring of my uterus during my first weekend home from the hospital...complete with lovely angels, charms, shells, and sea glass. It kind of looks like an elaborate Valentine's heart!

I am doing quite well. The experience was blessed and I was so magnificently supported and cared for. I am very grateful. The Blanket of Love experience just before my surgery began was amazing. I have never experienced anything quite so blissful! Fifty friends and family members participated! I kept telling the anesthesiologist that I would not need any drugs prior to surgery. I was so relaxed and filled with love. My surgeon is skilled and wonderful. I had a beautiful healing room with a view of the Flatiron mountains and room service meals whenever I desired them. I am experiencing a small setback today following many days of feeling so wonderful. I think that I overdid a bit yesterday...Another lesson in patience and slowing down...Alas.

I am missing my daily interactions with all of my wonderful, creative blog family. My energy is still a little slow. I will regain my momentum soon I am sure.

Healing Altar

2009-01-24T09:30:00.013-07:00

Here is a healing altar that came through spontaneously last night in my magic bedroom. As soon as I completed it, I stopped to absorb what I had done. I heard my owl begin to call from the tree outside at that very moment. It was very beautiful and affirming...I used things that were readily available in my room.

The angel is from my favorite Hospice thrift store's half off sale last weekend. When I brought her home, I suddenly realized that she is composed of my grandmother Camilla's china pattern.

I found a clearance book called Natural Mandalas at Barnes and Noble this week. I was so moved by the photographs that I mounted them on black foam core to bring to the hospital with me. There are 30 in all!

The beaded hand postcard on the altar came with a healing gift from Bobbi . I will post the lovely spirit doll later!

This is just the beginning of the altar, I will post updates as they unfold. My soul is warmed!

Surgery on Monday. Thank you all for sending a blanket of love and healing the colors of the sea from 8:45 to 9:15 AM Mountain Time on Monday, January 26th! I have had many responses from friends telling me all of the amazing things that the mermaids will be doing during the surgery...lying on the tempurpedic bed luxuriously eating seaweed, etc...

Surgery Shaman

2009-01-10T14:21:00.016-07:00

This shaman doll surprised me up to the very last moment of her creation. I saw a photo in an anatomy book of a female pelvis complete with reproductive organs. I bought the book and cut out the pelvis knowing that it would be just the right size for a doll related to my upcoming hysterectomy. I spent the evening painting, glittering, and placing jewels onto the tiny cardboard pelvis while making sure that I left the lines of the initial diagram intact. It reminds me of a butterfly...

I spent another two days working nonstop on the figure of the doll. It was a birthing process which is how I feel about the preparations for my surgery. I used friendship bracelets for her colorful hair...She has jewels of the sea and fish swimming throughout...I kept placing the anatomical drawing on her pelvis as her construction progressed. For some reason, it never felt quite right.

At the very end, I hesitantly placed the mask over her face just to see what might transpire...That was the moment that the spark ignited the flame of my creation. She took on a tribal quality that embodied strength, wisdom, beauty, protection, healing and joy! These are the qualities that I will move forward with into this new courageous phase of my life...

I have been experiencing many days of not feeling well recently. It is difficult for me to photograph and post my work...Please continue to stay in touch with me. My art blog family is an essential and cherished part of my life!

My surgery date is set for January 26th. I am asking all of my friends and family to think of me during the half hour before my procedure which will be between 8:45-9:15 AM Mountain Time. The surgery will begin at 9:20AM. Mark your calendars and wrap me in a blanket of love made up of all of the healing colors of the sea...you can throw in some shells and seaweed and don't forget the mermaids...

Angel Blessings for the New Year

2009-01-01T09:38:00.017-07:00

Here is an angel that I sold at Christmas. She holds the energy of the Great Mother. She is connected to the earth and the sky. I had so much fun creating her. I call her the "Eclectic Angel." She reminds me of an old world Santa laden with gifts. Her gifts are purely spiritual in nature and filled with abundance and joy!

I am filled with joy and gratitude as I enter this new year. I have experienced so many miracles this season. Facing my upcoming surgery has brought me deep opportunities for healing my past. The healing process is creating new space within me that is rapidly being filled with light, hope, and grace...Amazing how facing difficulties can lead to the clearest path to ourselves, others, and our connection to our own spirits, the universe, and to God...

I am grateful for all of my friends and family who are supporting me so tremendously at this time. I am often moved to tears by the support that I am receiving from my newer and most special art blog family...It is so amazing and affirming to form bonds so quickly with like minded, gifted, wise, creative women so filled with love and huge compassionate hearts...

And, of course, gratitude for my animal family...more soul shamans in my life...Frenchy and George, the large red fox who lives nearby, and the Great Horned Owl who calls to me daily from the tree just outside of my upstairs office window...

King George the Christmas Kitty

2008-12-23T09:32:00.021-07:00

He immediately hopped into an antique boat that many of my dolls (and bones!) live in in my living room.

He is happy to sail with them on adventures...

...and to stretch out with his new friends for a long winter's nap!

George Takes The Spirit House By Storm!

He is truly a magical being...fortunately, the angels are tied down!

I stopped by the local, lovely pet supply store for a bag of dog food. Well, I came home with a new kitty. A woman was holding an amazing six month old kitten and visiting with me. Her friend, Ann, who bred the cats was there as well. We talked and I asked how much that breed of cat would cost. He is a Scottish Fold...She said that some sell for as much as $1,000.00. Then she said that she would be happy to give me one as a gift. How could I refuse? I told her that I wanted this kitten's brother. Somehow, I knew that this cat was meant to be with me-sight unseen! She showed up at my house forty minutes later with my beautiful kitten! Thank you for the wonderful gift, Ann!

I named him King George. He loves to crawl into my arms and purr for long periods of time. He likes to give kisses and mark my forehead as well. Truly an honor! He is definitely a healing cat. It feels like he has lived with Frenchy and me always. George and Frenchy actually playfully shared one of Frenchy's balls today!

I am intrigued by the fact that my friend Dot in Australia had just finished making a special kitty doll for me to take with me to the hospital. Thank you Dot! I had no intention of getting a real kitty but in some wonderful way, her kitty manifested in my life! Now I will have two kitties. Which one do you think should come to the hospital with me?

The Owl King

2008-12-20T05:26:00.015-07:00

I love his wise flower eyes!

Here he is with The Keeper of the Keys.

This is “The Owl King.” He came through immediately following the completion of “Keeper Of The Keys.” I seem to have numerous forms of owls presenting themselves to me both in my art dolls and my daily life. I was playing with a piece of batik fabric when I spotted a tree branch design that looked like a beak. My hands took over from there and before I knew it, I was stuffing this whimsically regal owl.

Like his predecessor, the “Keeper Of The Keys,” he has a large key attached to his chest. The beaded picot edging was inspired by Robin Atkins’ designs in her book Spirit Dolls. I used two multi-faceted beads with green flowers on them for the intensely playful eyes. The beak is constructed from multiple shapes and sizes of bronze-toned beads.

The frog is a Japanese design carved out of wood. I added an antique Chinese coin to the leaf that holds the frog. Many of my creations contain a frog element right now. The frogs are playful and they represent transformation. I used to collect pollywogs in the lagoon next to my beach house where I grew up. I loved watching them transform into frogs.

“The Owl King” also has a bronze-toned wreath of acorns combined with filigree gold trim for a crown. I used three golden metal leaves to embellish his right wing. He actually embodies qualities of both the owl and the frog. He represents a metamorphosis himself!

I am also experiencing a deep process of metamorphosis myself as I face the many details and emotions related to my hysterectomy in January. The winter solstice takes place this weekend. I am emerging from a dark time into the light. I am experiencing a sense of reconnection as I examine many parts of my life. The emotions that have been flooding through me over the past week are providing me with a deep sense of healing and cleansing of issues from the past. Not an easy process but filled with beauty and renewal...

Snow Angels

2008-12-18T08:24:00.012-07:00

My"Snow Angel" complete with an elaborate sash around her waist...

I love his melty, green eye!

I work on the dementia unit at a nursing facility in Boulder. My favorite resident died today...I had a feeling something was very wrong. No one seemed to understand that she was actively dying. I was the only one in the room with her and having no luck in trying to calm her. Everyone thought that she was just sick.

I pulled a chair up to her bed side and listened. I finally discerned the word from her agitated state-It was "Pray." I said, "Anna, do you want me to pray with you?" She said yes and continued with her agitated babbling. I prayed and saw a group of her very own angels surrounding her in comfort. I had to leave for the doctor...I just learned that she died soon after I left.

My mother died at Christmas. I was the only one there for her as well...the lyrics to the Sarah McLachlan song came to mind when I shared my story about Anna..."In the arms of the angels. Fly away from here..." It was the song that was popular at the time my mother died. I ached for a mother to hold me. I talked with a friend about the fact that being there for Anna may have been the purpose for having the job at the nursing facility. I may have truly made a difference in the life of another. I know she made a difference in mine!

I do believe that we have angels in each of our lives and that we may be angels for others when we least expect it. I went to bed last night with a sense of miracles...

Early this morning, when I stepped into the snow filled courtyard, I saw an angel constructed out of snow...miracles and angels...After I took the photo, I realized that my imagined angel was actually the backside of a snowman! He has a Haagen Das ice cream container for a hat and the funny pages from the Sunday paper for a scarf!

Believing can manifest in such simple and profound ways. Sometimes following the darkest night...Do you believe in miracles?

"The Guardian"

2008-12-14T12:47:00.008-07:00

He and Frenchy, on his right, are mirroring each other...

Here is an amazing being who came through a few months ago. I call him "The Guardian" because his presence is so powerful. I came across a piece of an old fur coat that I had discovered in the garage of an old house. The moment my fingers touched the thick, soft fur, I felt this doll beginning to emerge. I worked straight through as he poured through my fingers. This was the first time that I started using my kitchen forks for claws...I finally had to buy a new set of cutlery!

I love his expressive face and lanky, long, legs accented by the forks. He has a wonderful long, feathery tail that gives him a bird-like quality. He is kind of a combination human, cheetah, and bird...Magical and mysterious! I am featuring him today because I have been spending some extra time with him. I will be selling him to help pay for my upcoming surgery...In fact, I believe that he is already sold...to a very good home!

"Sea Lioness" Revealed

2008-12-06T12:25:00.035-07:00

I had to take a new close up photo. Blogspot was misbehaving and refused to put the original on horizontally! Now you won't have to crane your necks to see it! I am increasing my technical skills daily...

This is the only photo that gives a full view of her tail. It has cut-out beautiful fabric flowers sewn onto the trim.

She looks like she is swimming underwater in these photos...

"The lion's roar is to silence what the shooting star is to the dark of night." Laurens van der Post

Art Doll Soup has been quite a journey this week! I have spent the week recovering from a cyst that ruptured on my ovary. I feel like fireworks are taking place inside of the constellation of my feminine self. Surgery, a hysterectomy, has been scheduled for January. I have been struggling with multiple issues related to my uterus over the past year. I have missed many weeks of work. The emergence, finally, of this lovely doll has helped me to get through a very difficult and, at times, very dark week filled with emotion and grieving. I am beginning to emerge as well...

I am actually now grateful for parts of the challenging process that is taking place. I have only been able to drink liquids. Craving carrot juices and now intensely green drinks. I am both a mad scientist and an artist in the kitchen with my juicer in my determination to restore and supplement my health. (Frenchy, my tiny, wise dog, runs for cover each time I press the on button of the magical, roaring, cacophanous machine!) I am beginning to have clarity on issues that have been clouded by the foods that I used to stuff some deep emotions. Once again, the light is beginning to come out of the darkness.

So here she is! The "Sea Lioness." I used the cover off of one of my pillows for fabric. There are five different types of yarn incorporated into her wild mane of hair. I LOVED making her hair. It is delightful!

I cut the body design freehand based on my design for "My Swimming Self." She ended up with a wonderful curvy shape. I used shells once again for her fingers and toes. She has a beautiful piece of abalone over her heart for protection and radiance.

I used mung beans to stuff her legs and some small baggies of brown basmati rice inside her body to help with her balance. (I realized after doing this that those two ingredients help with my balance as well in one of my favorite Ayurvedic healing foods-Kitcheree.) I do hope that Frenchy doesn't try to eat her!

The word that kept coming to me as I was making her is "Courage." I thought of the lion in the Wizard of Oz. I may embroider some courageous words onto her body. Possibly a ROAR as well! I will also add a picot beaded edge...I'll wait and see what else she might ask for...

Art Doll Soup

2008-11-30T11:46:00.011-07:00

Here is a photo of an emerging doll. The birth process has been complicated. She keeps speaking to me and telling me different things. Yesterday afternoon I finally had to go for a drive-for four hours!-because I couldn't tell what she was asking for. I beaded her face a few weeks ago. Her hair came through late last night after my "fresh air" drive. It was so much fun to make! I stayed up way too late...

She keeps telling me that she is a mermaid from the sea. Then she begs to wear a cape of glittery, jewel-toned, flowing, synthetic fabric...I am torn between getting my hands deep into the gifts from the sea and following her to a disco party! For a while she was "The Handless Maiden." Now she is the armless, headless...making up her mind maiden...I will be patient. Wait and listen. Art cannot be forced...She is already quite fabulous and so beautiful...She actually looks in the photo like she just washed up on a sandy shore...I feel that way quite often myself...Actually, this is exactly how I am feeling today!

Winged Cougars and Thanksgiving Feast

2008-11-29T08:50:00.010-07:00

Here are photos of my lovely surprise Thanksgiving dinner. I tend to hide out on holidays to make art as I mentioned before...My neighbor had me over at the last minute. I arrived to an amazing feast complete with my own place setting-a china plate with a cougar on it! They did not know that I had just finished posting my photos and story about my first art doll that I made on Thanksgiving Day 3 years ago-a winged cougar. So appropriate.

Did I mention that the cougar painting and doll were inspired by nighttime visits by a cougar on the roof of my 300 square foot cottage that I lived in during my first year in Colorado? The first visit took place late one warm summer night. Frenchy was in the back tiny yard barking. I ran out to get him and heard a loud hissing sound above me in the tree. A week later, I read in the newspaper about a cougar sighting a block from my house. He came back for many midnight visits throughout the year. I would lay in bed and hear his heavy footsteps on the roof. I felt connected to him rather than afraid.

On the last visit, he was trying to get in through the skylight. By this time, I was so fascinated, I wanted to see him. I stood on my (swivel) office chair trying to get a glimpse of him. All I could see was his shadow passing back and forth over the glass and large paw scratching at the edges of the window. I carry his power inside of me still...and I'm grateful that he did not eat Frenchy.

We had a wonderful time at dinner and no one minded or found it strange that I wanted to take the turkey bones home with me to make more art...most people prefer leftovers! Thanks Anne!

My First Dolls-Thanksgiving Gratitude

2008-11-27T16:23:00.008-07:00

My first art dolls came through to me during my first year in Boulder three years ago today-Thanksgiving. They came from a painting that I had just completed of a cougar with a little girl. I covered the painting in jewels, mirrors, and feathers when it was done. I was so mesmerized by the process that I didn't attend a dinner gathering.

The cougar has wings that are jeweled and embroidered. The little girl has two sides. One joyful and one very sad. The cougar is very protective of her and carries her on amazing journeys of discovery. All of my work has been art dolls ever since these dolls arrived.

The picture behind the doll came much later. It is an intriguing painting that I found at a thrift store. I added collage elements on top and a photo of me as a child. At that time, I loved to add candles to all of my collages. The dove came flying in at the end. All about healing and transformation...

I knew nothing about sewing when these dolls appeared. I just allowed the dolls to show me what they needed. I love the tactile aspect of art doll making. It allows me multiple avenues for listening to what is calling to be expressed. I am always in awe of what comes through. I have made almost 100 dolls since that Thanksgiving Day 3 years ago...

Magic Bed

2008-11-23T16:02:00.005-07:00

I like to design Magic Beds. Here is the bed that I designed last year...I layered many curtains that I had and then added long pieces of creme colored tulle to create a magical world. I made a hoop for the canopy out of old world roses and floral wire beaded with lavender and green leaves and branches. I found some fabulous strings of lotus shaped red and copper colored tin patio lights lined with golden tulle at Target. I also added sets of delicate Japanese flute wind chimes and some small strands of Tibetan bells to complete the effect...Voila!

Speaking of nests-I played a game called "Would You Rather..." with some clients at work on Friday. The first question was "Would you rather sleep in a human-sized nest in a tree or in a burrow on the ground?" I chose the nest because I am partial to them but I wanted it on the ground. Hence, the photos above of my nest! The second question was "Would you rather have a full set of removable dentures or a complete set of permanent fangs?" Hands down, we all chose the fangs so that we could eat steak! What would you choose???

My Plastic Self

2008-11-21T06:36:00.008-07:00

I made this doll from a dream. She is "My Plastic Self." Making her was a powerful and transformative process. I used the sketch that I made following the dream. She is made of clear plastic. It was a fun experiment to hand embroider the stitches that define her through the plastic. I was wonderfully surprised when a clear pocket in her chest began to fill with jewels from the sea and sky, hearts, and a glow-in-the-dark fairy to watch over it all. Her hair is from a horse's tail and mane. She is so simple and so very complex all at once. Just like me...

Frenchy

2008-11-16T19:10:00.010-07:00

Here is a photo of my dog, Frenchy. He is so much more than a dog. I call him my "familiar." I think that he calls me Girlie. He is addicted to miniature tennis balls. He has an inner Labrador Retriever. I can hear him prodding me: "Just throw the ball, Girlie. Throw the ball." He also likes sea shells since he was raised on the beach. He carries them around the house when he discovers them in my doll-making supplies. He is quite small. Five pounds. He tolerates being "cuddled" in very brief increments. Then he growls to tell me it is time to throw the ball again. I realized that I may have a low tolerance for too much cuddling as well...I'm working on it...I miss him when I am at work...We are pretty much inseparable. He is a wise soul. I am very grateful to have him in my life.

Fire Angel

2008-11-15T07:25:00.004-07:00

Here is an angel of protection and comfort for all of my friends and family affected by the fire in Santa Barbara. I deeply share in your loss. I am sending you an abundance of love and healing.

Keeper Of The Keys Details

2008-11-08T09:23:00.011-07:00

Here is a close up view of "Keeper Of The Keys." His beaded face was the first part to emerge. It came through in such an intuitive way. I added a "stacking" technique that I learned from Robin Atkins' new book "Heart To Hands Bead Embroidery." The stacks give his face a wonderful three dimensional furry quality. The left arm/wing called for many charms from the sea, air, and, of course, keys...The right arm/wing holds a magical glass bottle that I filled with iridescent glitter flakes. I attached a frog for transformation to the outside of the bottle. My final addition was a Moonstone bead that I placed at the center of the heart charm on his chest. I used to collect Moonstones on the beach where I grew up.

Keeper Of The Keys

2008-11-08T09:09:00.008-07:00

Here is one of my recent spirit dolls. He is called "Keeper Of The Keys." His shape and picot beading around his edges were inspired by Robin Atkins' book "Spirit Dolls." I had an insight prior to his creation about the ways that I can keep myself trapped behind the bars of cages that no longer serve me. I realized that the door to the cage can be standing wide open inviting me to fly free from my former constraints and feelings of bondage and I can still choose to pull the bars back over myself like a warm and familiar blanket. I am challenging myself to assess these patterns and the construction of this amazing Soul Shaman has led me to new and powerful insights and discoveries about myself and the world. I randomly chose the black and white batik fabric without knowing that I would experience an astounding encounter with a black and white Barred Owl during this creative process! I had no intention of including the sea in this process until I was called to place the iridescent fish bead in the center of the body. The words that I heard as I held the fish tentatively in place were "To truly heal, you must return to the sea." I immediately secured the fish to the body!

Under The Sea Update

2008-11-08T08:57:00.005-07:00

Here are some more photos that may show a closer view of this tender creature who lives under the sea. You will now be able to see the framed photo of the Virgin Mary that resides at the center of her chest to watch over and protect her.

Under The Sea

2008-11-05T21:24:00.004-07:00

Here is one of my early dolls. She lives under the sea. She has the ability to make herself quite small. She can become invisible and blend in with the stalks of seaweed growing up from the ocean floor. She has a mask made of Sculpey. She also has another face below her mask. I think that we all have the ability to wear many masks. Her hair is local Alpaca fur.

Art Studio Photo

2008-11-02T11:15:00.006-07:00

My daughter took this candid shot of my art studio from upstairs. I used to struggle trying to make my living room back into a living room after each art project. I surrendered last year. The space is an art studio. There is no doubt about it. It is lovely and wonderful and overflowing with my supplies and creativity! Three of my Process Paintings are on the wall in the photo. I call them "The Three Graces."

Seven Things People Don't Know About Me

2008-11-01T09:20:00.008-06:00

When Carol tagged me last week, I went into a panic. I didn't know what it meant to be tagged. I was certain it must not be good. I have since learned that it is considered a compliment to have someone tag you. Thank you Carol!

Seven Things People Don't Know About Me:

I love to swim laps at the pool on Christmas Eve. I think about all of the frantic preparations that are taking place in people's homes and relish each stroke as I glide through the water in peaceful silence.
I like watching DVD movies with the Director's Commentary activated throughout.
I love my dog, Frenchy. He is a five pound, black Pomeranian who is addicted to mini tennis balls. He even goes wild when he discovers pieces of felt that I use in my Art Dolls. (I finally made the connection that tennis balls smell like felt!)
I love to collect bones on my mountain hikes. My studio is rich with sun-bleached white bones! For me, it is like discovering sea glass and shells on the beach where I used to live. Both activities give me a thrill like I have just discovered hidden treasures. I use these treasures in many of my Art Dolls.
I like to eat chocolate for breakfast on my day off while I write in my dream journal. (This is now a joyful memory...I stopped eating sugar in October to enhance my health-yes, that even includes chocolate!)
Care packages from the sea. Friends send me boxes of driftwood, sea glass, and shells from the beach. I rip them open with abandon when they arrive. Sand and the smells of the sea spill out along with the treasures within.
Placing my Art Dolls that I am working on onto the pillow beside me while I sleep. Sometimes they come through in my dreams...

Preparation Sketch

2008-10-31T12:12:00.009-06:00

Here is a sketch and layout that I did a few weeks ago for "The Keeper of the Keys" spirit doll that I just finished. (He will be posted next week!) I don't usually sketch or plan before I create. This was fun to play with. I set it out surrounded by intention while I waited for the actual doll to come through.

My Swimming Self

2008-10-29T07:27:00.006-06:00

I made this doll during my first year in Colorado. I love to swim. It is one of the avenues that brings me back to myself when life becomes hectic. I particularly found it necessary to swim daily during my first winter away from the sea. I did not understand the freezing weather and snow. It was foreign to me...I remember coming home from the pool and reaching for this soft purple fabric. My Swimming Self poured through in one day. I sewed her form and embroidered her face by hand. I also love her toes. They are made from amazing tiny shells that naturally look like they have painted toenails on them. She makes me smile.

A Few Of My Favorite Dolls

2008-10-21T19:06:00.003-06:00

Some photos of my process art dolls. I allow each doll to unfold and reveal itself to me. It is fun to share my work with other artists and readers. Process art work is a luxuriously solitary endeavor. I do love to work in solitude but it is also revealing and rewarding to share my work with the outside world.

The first photo is the "Sea Shaman Woman." I made her from shells and sea-glass from the beach I lived on combined with elements from Colorado and an Eclectus parrot feather from a friend's bird.

The second photo is "My Demented Sister" who came from one of my dreams. I love her hair-a combination of horse hair and synthetic fibers.

My First Post!

2008-10-19T20:50:00.000-06:00

With the help of one of my favorite artists, Robin Atkins of Beadlust, I have created my first Blog! I am an intuitive artist so mastering technology is one of my life-plane challenges. Robin has been very insightful and supportive of my process. Thank you, Robin!

Some of my interests include Art Dolls, Process Painting, Bones, Beads, Jungian Psychology, Shamanism, and Swimming! I am also a graduate student in Counseling Psychology. I combine my art process with my therapeutic process. I will be writing about my passion for creating art constantly in my life. My dolls seem to pour through my fingers...

The picture shown at the top of this post is my first bead project. I realized that she was an owl the moment that I finished the face. Her body is a piece of driftwood from the beach that I used to live on. And my forks, of course, for talons! I'm hooked on beading!