Soul Shamans

Art Dolls & Process Paintings ~ Camilla La Mer

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Rage Doll and The Raven

Three weeks following my surgery I am experiencing tremendous bouts of uncontainable rage. It is quite unsettling and quite unlike me. I am trying to befriend this new emotion or, at least, to sit with it in acceptance for the moment. This Rage Doll poured through me this weekend. She may have saved many innocent bystanders from experiencing my wrath had I dared to go out in public rather than stay inside my womb-like studio and express through my creation.

The beads pouring out of her mouth beautifully express the rage pouring forth from me related to a combination of issues from my past, recovering from surgery, and hormonal attempts at rebalancing. After I finished making her, I noticed that she has a regal mermaid-like quality. She appears beautiful, centered, and powerful even in her ragefullness.

She is holding a sea shell in her triumphant raised hand that symbolizes once again my ovary...the one that was taken and the one that remains...I am so grateful for my ability to create through process! This journey contains both extreme challenges and a deep richness...I probably would have it no other way...

P.S. I found this fabulous Folkmanis Raven puppet by chance today. She embodies so much of how I am feeling as well as the mystery behind all of this turmoil. She gets along well with my Rage Doll self. In one of my favorite books, Animal Speak, her characteristics are Magic, Shapeshifting, and Creation. Raven "teaches how to go into the dark and bring forth the light...This is creation." I relate to her disheveled feathers, slight air of irritability, sense of humor, and great access to deep wisdom...I am taking her to school with me tonight!

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At February 17, 2009 at 12:53 PM , Blogger Carol said...

I was jumping up and down in my seat because you posted! Looking at the doll, I saw your anger. Reading your post I felt your anger. But I see that you are getting it under control, as the end of your post details the positive! Yay You!! We are lucky that you use your art to express yourself. We are along with you on your journey.

Love, Carol

At February 17, 2009 at 2:10 PM , Blogger Leslie said...

Wow, is she a strong statement. I have been where you are and like your friend, Carol, grateful that you have an outlet that doesn't involve mayhem on another person.

Even if it's rage she expresses she wonderfully powerful and I totally understand her.

At February 17, 2009 at 4:06 PM , Blogger Carol said...

First, I am so glad to know that you enjoy Animal Speak. I refer to it constantly.

OM GOSH, I LOVE your Raven. You are so right, he is a perfect friend for your Rage Self! I am so glad you were drawn to him. Your inner Zen relates.
Love, Carol

At February 17, 2009 at 11:59 PM , Blogger Robin said...

First thing I noticed, Camilla, is that she is all bound up... bound around her body and one arm with three colors of sturdy cording. The feather and the bird are not in the bound up parts of her and could represent flight or freedom. The rage is spewing from her mouth... Do the cords bind the rage and prevent it spewing from her heart? What is your heart angry about... really? Her right arm is bound. Are you right-handed? Are you restricting the written words in this post?

I hope you don't mind me being up front about what I see here... I'm so glad you posted pictures of her and that you are allowing her a voice.

Love, Robin

At February 18, 2009 at 7:09 AM , Blogger Plays with Needles said...

I appreciate that you are embracing the present moment -- allowing your emotion to take you and pass through you...rage or no rage, your doll appears centered. Here's to today, Camilla. Susan

At February 18, 2009 at 8:43 AM , Blogger beadbabe49 said...

The healing power of art never ceases to comfort and amaze me...

At February 19, 2009 at 4:07 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mom this is amazing and beautiful! I love this one! That is sooo cool... I love you and very beautiful! Sorry you have rage. I love you!

At February 19, 2009 at 11:44 AM , Blogger Megan Noel said...

camille, i am sorry you are not feeling well. thank you for your nice little note on my blog, too. at least if we don't feel well we know we aren't alone.

your rage doll is very powerful! i also have a hard time with anger and rage. they are emotions i shy away from unless they overtake me, and then they emerge as extreme grumpiness and i don't have a way to address them. but i will share what someone told me once about rage and anger because it seems it could relate to your final observations about the power of the doll. i was reminded that righteous anger has been, many many times through history, the fuel for positive change. maybe your anger will transform itself into something in your life that will provide fuel for something, too.

christine northrup has some interesting things to say about emotions / anger / pms / menopause, and how it all ties together. you might try reading some of her work if it appealed to you.

xoxo take care, megan
p.s. love the raven. here is my raven doll that i got for christmas:

At February 19, 2009 at 7:58 PM , Blogger Jacky said...

Camilla what a wonderful way to work through your rage...I love the beaded mouth (and the story behind it).
I love your raven, dishevelled but beautiful and strong.
Take care...sending you healing thoughts.

Jacky xox

At February 20, 2009 at 12:58 AM , Blogger Kiwi Ellen said...

Oh Camilla Your Doll speaks volumes but I see her standing triumphant, having overcome the rage. I believe you too will overcome the rage, there are times when we need rage to purge ourselves of that which we no longer need..

At February 23, 2009 at 4:55 PM , Blogger Pursuing Art... said...

Dear Camilla...I apologize for not visiting sooner. I have missed plenty and all I can do is try to jump back in close to where I left off!

First, I am so grateful that your surgery is behind you now, you did so well, and that you are on the road to recovery! I think 'the waiting' is the worst part. I am sorry to hear about the rage you've been feeling. I went through similar emotions (anger/teary) when I had my ovary removed. It is amazing that hormones are that important in keeping us feeling balanced...and how it feels when their all not quite there! I promise that it will pass and you will feel balanced again soon.

Your Rage Doll is beautiful and she is very strong! She certainly coveys your feelings. The beads pouring from her mouth say it all to me! I can only imagine what she may have been saying! ~wink~ We are all very blessed to see what you create from your heart, mind, and soul, Camilla! Your artwork is filled with so much emotion from your heart!

The Tribute to your Uterus is lovely and I like that used a heart. I know it will be a special remembrance piece just for you.

Mystic gorgeous! I absolutely adore this piece. When I received my ADQ and had thumbed through it for a moment before really sitting down with it to read...your beaded face stopped me in my tracks! And, I looked at this doll and immediately thought of you and...sure enough...she was yours! She is fabulous and, yes, I believe she is still searching! I believe there is a prince out there with a big heart and, one day, they will find each other!!!

Sending you a heartfelt hug...~Lisa

P.S. I have Anne Hesse and Gabe Cyr's face patterns, Patti's book too, and have yet to sit down and stitch one! Every time I see one beaded...I'm in love! They are wonderful and your faces are no exception!!! Take good care of yourself and keep on stitching! ;-)

At February 23, 2009 at 8:57 PM , Blogger Camilla La Mer-Art Dolls said...

Thank you all so very much for your fortifying insights regarding life and rage! You all mean so much to
me...You are part of a tribe of wise, fabulous women who I am so lucky to share my life and my art with!

My rage has settled for the moment. I have been doing therapy related to it as well as some wonderful acupuncture sessions...and massage.

I am working on a wild looking large, red owlish bird that began emerging this afternoon...I'll give you a peek later this week!


At March 8, 2009 at 12:17 AM , Blogger Hélène H said...

Very impressive.

After seeing your doll, I posted a Kali picture on my blog which may interest you ;o)


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