Rage Doll and The Raven

Three weeks following my surgery I am experiencing tremendous bouts of uncontainable rage. It is quite unsettling and quite unlike me. I am trying to befriend this new emotion or, at least, to sit with it in acceptance for the moment. This Rage Doll poured through me this weekend. She may have saved many innocent bystanders from experiencing my wrath had I dared to go out in public rather than stay inside my womb-like studio and express through my creation.

The beads pouring out of her mouth beautifully express the rage pouring forth from me related to a combination of issues from my past, recovering from surgery, and hormonal attempts at rebalancing. After I finished making her, I noticed that she has a regal mermaid-like quality. She appears beautiful, centered, and powerful even in her ragefullness.

She is holding a sea shell in her triumphant raised hand that symbolizes once again my ovary...the one that was taken and the one that remains...I am so grateful for my ability to create through process! This journey contains both extreme challenges and a deep richness...I probably would have it no other way...


P.S. I found this fabulous Folkmanis Raven puppet by chance today. She embodies so much of how I am feeling as well as the mystery behind all of this turmoil. She gets along well with my Rage Doll self. In one of my favorite books, Animal Speak, her characteristics are Magic, Shapeshifting, and Creation. Raven "teaches how to go into the dark and bring forth the light...This is creation." I relate to her disheveled feathers, slight air of irritability, sense of humor, and great access to deep wisdom...I am taking her to school with me tonight!

A Glorious Tribute to My Uterus!

My embellished uterus is 14 inches wide by 12 inches high...


The golden angel has one hand on my seashell ovary and another on my elaborate cervix!


Photos related to the surgery...Healthy me with kitty, George. Surgery doll. Me with my surgeon. My children when they were young.



Thank you all for the tremendous support during the process of my surgery! I was so happy to experience the healing process of creating and decorating my own version of the transformation and honoring of my uterus during my first weekend home from the hospital...complete with lovely angels, charms, shells, and sea glass. It kind of looks like an elaborate Valentine's heart!

I am doing quite well. The experience was blessed and I was so magnificently supported and cared for. I am very grateful. The Blanket of Love experience just before my surgery began was amazing. I have never experienced anything quite so blissful! Fifty friends and family members participated! I kept telling the anesthesiologist that I would not need any drugs prior to surgery. I was so relaxed and filled with love. My surgeon is skilled and wonderful. I had a beautiful healing room with a view of the Flatiron mountains and room service meals whenever I desired them. I am experiencing a small setback today following many days of feeling so wonderful. I think that I overdid a bit yesterday...Another lesson in patience and slowing down...Alas.

I am missing my daily interactions with all of my wonderful, creative blog family. My energy is still a little slow. I will regain my momentum soon I am sure.

Healing Altar

Here is a healing altar that came through spontaneously last night in my magic bedroom. As soon as I completed it, I stopped to absorb what I had done. I heard my owl begin to call from the tree outside at that very moment. It was very beautiful and affirming...I used things that were readily available in my room.

The angel is from my favorite Hospice thrift store's half off sale last weekend. When I brought her home, I suddenly realized that she is composed of my grandmother Camilla's china pattern.

I found a clearance book called Natural Mandalas at Barnes and Noble this week. I was so moved by the photographs that I mounted them on black foam core to bring to the hospital with me. There are 30 in all!

The beaded hand postcard on the altar came with a healing gift from Bobbi. I will post the lovely spirit doll later!

This is just the beginning of the altar, I will post updates as they unfold. My soul is warmed!

Surgery on Monday. Thank you all for sending a blanket of love and healing the colors of the sea from 8:45 to 9:15 AM Mountain Time on Monday, January 26th! I have had many responses from friends telling me all of the amazing things that the mermaids will be doing during the surgery...lying on the tempurpedic bed luxuriously eating seaweed, etc...

Surgery Shaman

This shaman doll surprised me up to the very last moment of her creation. I saw a photo in an anatomy book of a female pelvis complete with reproductive organs. I bought the book and cut out the pelvis knowing that it would be just the right size for a doll related to my upcoming hysterectomy. I spent the evening painting, glittering, and placing jewels onto the tiny cardboard pelvis while making sure that I left the lines of the initial diagram intact. It reminds me of a butterfly...

I spent another two days working nonstop on the figure of the doll. It was a birthing process which is how I feel about the preparations for my surgery. I used friendship bracelets for her colorful hair...She has jewels of the sea and fish swimming throughout...I kept placing the anatomical drawing on her pelvis as her construction progressed. For some reason, it never felt quite right.

At the very end, I hesitantly placed the mask over her face just to see what might transpire...That was the moment that the spark ignited the flame of my creation. She took on a tribal quality that embodied strength, wisdom, beauty, protection, healing and joy! These are the qualities that I will move forward with into this new courageous phase of my life...

I have been experiencing many days of not feeling well recently. It is difficult for me to photograph and post my work...Please continue to stay in touch with me. My art blog family is an essential and cherished part of my life!

My surgery date is set for January 26th. I am asking all of my friends and family to think of me during the half hour before my procedure which will be between 8:45-9:15 AM Mountain Time. The surgery will begin at 9:20AM. Mark your calendars and wrap me in a blanket of love made up of all of the healing colors of the sea...you can throw in some shells and seaweed and don't forget the mermaids...