"Resurgence"

"Resurgence" in Process

Here is my first painting in so very long...in process. I realized today that I have been having such a lovely time pouring over the images in everyone elses blogsites...It is time for me to return to myself. Find my artistic voice once again...always in a new way. Following so much turmoil and trauma after my year of many moves and so much loss. New beginnings are emerging. Like the brightest green sprouts of new grass...bursting through the now melting ice.

I allowed myself today to simply get my brush moving...both rapidly and slowly. I had to remind myself of the words that I use with my students when helping them to move through blocks and judgments and fears and frozen feelings. The flow is returning. Slowly. In its own time. In its own way. Patience. Presence. Breath. Trust. Trust in the process. All I have to do is show up. And...get out of my own way. Isn't this the key to life? It is to mine anyway...

PAINT WASHING SUNDAY

My Lascaux Resonance Gouache paints are infused with Bio-information. They smell like essential oils and have healing properties. So delectable!

I resurrected many of my paints today! It looks like someone has been murdered in technicolor in my bathtub...Not to mention my clothes and my glasses!

I found a nice oak easel on craigslist yesterday...and a table to hold my paints and brushes. More new beginnings...Or at least, finding my way back to myself in small, and sometimes large, gestures. I placed the easel so that I can observe my creations from my bed when I wake up in the mornings.

George is my studio manager. He oversees all projects. He has been spending a lot of time holding the space underneath my new easel!

Frenchy was thrilled that I stayed home this morning to splash paint all over the bathroom. It made me a captive audience for his ball throwing obsession...

New Beginnings

A year of letting go, grief, and loss...Preparing for new...a new year...a new home in Denver...Joyful return to my art, MYSELF, and my blog!...slowly rebuilding...
Small Mandalas kept me connected to my art and to my soul during the turmoil...

So happy to begin the reconnection process and to have a new home...in a new city! I lost everything I owned six months ago...including my clothes, my furniture, my bed, my art supplies...I still have what is most important...my soul, my animals, and my friends. I learned a lot in this transition. Life is not about "things." It IS about art though!!! I feel the spark of creativity igniting once again deep in my soul. I am curious to see what will be revealed next...I sense a Phoenix rising from the ashes...(Interesting that one of my last creations was "My Homeless Self." I think I'll be making a lovely, joyful "Home" as my first project this year!!!)

New Dolls and Soul Doll Workshop

The Scarab Ox Woman came from a combination of two dreams. One dream was about being rescued and supported in a victorious way from an abusive situation. There was a giant, powerful Ox standing in the doorway to support me unequivocally. I have also been having dreams about ancient giant beetles. I was immediately mesmerized by an assortment of vintage Egyptian scarab beads that one of the participants in my Soul Doll workshop brought to sell.


My Homeless Self came through in a powerful way after watching the movie "The Soloist." I think that we all have some form of her deep inside of us. A longing for "home." It may be a part of the nature of being human and experiencing a separation from the Divine. I love the shopping cart! It turns on a dime. I also used photographs of me when I was a child. I am sitting in the mini-cart being held by the larger self doll.


A photo "tree" attached to the shopping cart with pictures of me with my father.


Close up of my two selves safely contained in their shopping carts. The cart is adorned with strings of tiny brass Indian bells and miniature wind chimes! There is also a Native American dream catcher on the bow of the cart.


Participants in my "Soul Doll" workshop at Tactile Arts Center in Denver!

Hello everyone! Apparently, I have taken a summer break from blogging...I am starting to, finally, feel like myself again following my surgery. Even better than before! I am now teaching my "Soul Doll" workshops which is a dream come true for me. I will post my Spring schedule soon. Thanks for your support on my journey back!

Sand Tray Extravaganza

I took this photo the night that I completed this Sand Tray. Buddha is watching from above and Hanuman sits on the altar table below...He reminds us that we are spiritual beings...

A full daytime view of the gathering...


Here is one of my "Alchemical Warriors." She is being held in the arms of the Great Mother. I feel a sense of peace when I look at her.


This photo shows a statue of Gaia sitting below Quan Yin. You can also see a wonderful wooden horse puppet who lost his strings. Another "Warrior" is leaning against the horse. She has a large green crystal heart on her body.


Another "Alchemical Warrior" with an African porcupine quill for a sword. He's riding in BaBa Yaga's pestle!

I like this mysterious night view of two folk art dolls with the wooden horse. They are standing in front of a mounted Nature Mandala.


Here is the "Pink Goddess Alchemical Warrior." She has an owl and a carved, wooden Japanese Netsuke that is a snake. I painted a design on this feather..


You can see part of another "Alchemical Warrior" on the left. She has a large blue muscle shell on the front of her body. I love how Mary watches over all of the activity...

In my graduate program in Counseling Psychology, we spent the entire day Friday exploring sand trays. The moment that I arrived home, I realized that the carved antique boat given to me by a friend was about to be transformed into a giant sand tray. The next day, I brought 300 pounds of sand into the middle of my living room and set to work. The transformation that took place both physically and spiritually was profound. It turned into a giant healing altar that is giving me great comfort and delight!

A few weeks ago I had six dolls pour through my fingers at once. I call them my "Alchemical Warriors." They represent important parts of myself. They are all participating in this tray. I have included pictures of three of them from close angles.

This week, I have been building a new set of shelves next to the sand tray so that my collection of objects for the tray can be readily visible for the creation of many more trays. I have asked friends to participate if they would like to contribute any found objects to this evolving project. I use everything that feels appropriate...angels, driftwood, bones, shells, toy figures, dolls, statues...The possibilities are limitless. I can feel my soul soaring just thinking about it!

Rage Doll and The Raven

Three weeks following my surgery I am experiencing tremendous bouts of uncontainable rage. It is quite unsettling and quite unlike me. I am trying to befriend this new emotion or, at least, to sit with it in acceptance for the moment. This Rage Doll poured through me this weekend. She may have saved many innocent bystanders from experiencing my wrath had I dared to go out in public rather than stay inside my womb-like studio and express through my creation.

The beads pouring out of her mouth beautifully express the rage pouring forth from me related to a combination of issues from my past, recovering from surgery, and hormonal attempts at rebalancing. After I finished making her, I noticed that she has a regal mermaid-like quality. She appears beautiful, centered, and powerful even in her ragefullness.

She is holding a sea shell in her triumphant raised hand that symbolizes once again my ovary...the one that was taken and the one that remains...I am so grateful for my ability to create through process! This journey contains both extreme challenges and a deep richness...I probably would have it no other way...


P.S. I found this fabulous Folkmanis Raven puppet by chance today. She embodies so much of how I am feeling as well as the mystery behind all of this turmoil. She gets along well with my Rage Doll self. In one of my favorite books, Animal Speak, her characteristics are Magic, Shapeshifting, and Creation. Raven "teaches how to go into the dark and bring forth the light...This is creation." I relate to her disheveled feathers, slight air of irritability, sense of humor, and great access to deep wisdom...I am taking her to school with me tonight!

Art Doll Quarterly "Mystic Bride" and More!

Here is my"Mystic Bride" bead and bone doll published this week in the Spring issue of Art Doll Quarterly! Look for two more in the Summer issue!



Here is a close-up of her beaded features...I incorporated sea glass and butterflies into the design of her face. She has winsome eyes. She may be longing for a Prince who is more than just a frog...


A lovely surprise healing Mermaid from my friend, Ellen! She arrived in a gold tin box with a coveted scrap of gold lame fabric. Delicious! I feel better already! Thank you Ellen!


A "Guardian Spirit" for my surgery sent to me by my dear friend Bobbi. I was actually able to bring the spirit doll with me into the operating room!


These dolls came through as a set of three sisters just before my surgery. The third sister is Japanese. She has not revealed herself completely yet. This is Elderisa and The Mermaid. The first time that I held Elderisa in my arms, I wept. She reminded me of holding my babies for the first time. She helped me to access the many feelings that I had regarding the loss of my uterus. They both stayed in my bed with me in the hospital!


My Kitty and Amelia dolls came from my beautiful and talented friend, Dot in Australia. I ended up receiving an unexpected gift of a real kitten, George, while Dot's creation was winging its way across the seas! The Amelia doll was wearing the same pink bell that George has on his collar when she arrived! George loves her too! These two creations kept me smiling in the hospital...They were a part of the "Art Tour" that gathered more attendance each day in my room!


I was so excited to find this nest last night when I walked out to get my mail! It feels so hopeful to me as I continue on my path to recovery...I wonder what eggs will grow inside of my "new nest" as the Springtime unfolds for me...


It actually looks like a heart without the bowl...I always thought of my uterus as my second heart...

A Glorious Tribute to My Uterus!

My embellished uterus is 14 inches wide by 12 inches high...


The golden angel has one hand on my seashell ovary and another on my elaborate cervix!


Photos related to the surgery...Healthy me with kitty, George. Surgery doll. Me with my surgeon. My children when they were young.



Thank you all for the tremendous support during the process of my surgery! I was so happy to experience the healing process of creating and decorating my own version of the transformation and honoring of my uterus during my first weekend home from the hospital...complete with lovely angels, charms, shells, and sea glass. It kind of looks like an elaborate Valentine's heart!

I am doing quite well. The experience was blessed and I was so magnificently supported and cared for. I am very grateful. The Blanket of Love experience just before my surgery began was amazing. I have never experienced anything quite so blissful! Fifty friends and family members participated! I kept telling the anesthesiologist that I would not need any drugs prior to surgery. I was so relaxed and filled with love. My surgeon is skilled and wonderful. I had a beautiful healing room with a view of the Flatiron mountains and room service meals whenever I desired them. I am experiencing a small setback today following many days of feeling so wonderful. I think that I overdid a bit yesterday...Another lesson in patience and slowing down...Alas.

I am missing my daily interactions with all of my wonderful, creative blog family. My energy is still a little slow. I will regain my momentum soon I am sure.

Healing Altar

Here is a healing altar that came through spontaneously last night in my magic bedroom. As soon as I completed it, I stopped to absorb what I had done. I heard my owl begin to call from the tree outside at that very moment. It was very beautiful and affirming...I used things that were readily available in my room.

The angel is from my favorite Hospice thrift store's half off sale last weekend. When I brought her home, I suddenly realized that she is composed of my grandmother Camilla's china pattern.

I found a clearance book called Natural Mandalas at Barnes and Noble this week. I was so moved by the photographs that I mounted them on black foam core to bring to the hospital with me. There are 30 in all!

The beaded hand postcard on the altar came with a healing gift from Bobbi. I will post the lovely spirit doll later!

This is just the beginning of the altar, I will post updates as they unfold. My soul is warmed!

Surgery on Monday. Thank you all for sending a blanket of love and healing the colors of the sea from 8:45 to 9:15 AM Mountain Time on Monday, January 26th! I have had many responses from friends telling me all of the amazing things that the mermaids will be doing during the surgery...lying on the tempurpedic bed luxuriously eating seaweed, etc...

Surgery Shaman

This shaman doll surprised me up to the very last moment of her creation. I saw a photo in an anatomy book of a female pelvis complete with reproductive organs. I bought the book and cut out the pelvis knowing that it would be just the right size for a doll related to my upcoming hysterectomy. I spent the evening painting, glittering, and placing jewels onto the tiny cardboard pelvis while making sure that I left the lines of the initial diagram intact. It reminds me of a butterfly...

I spent another two days working nonstop on the figure of the doll. It was a birthing process which is how I feel about the preparations for my surgery. I used friendship bracelets for her colorful hair...She has jewels of the sea and fish swimming throughout...I kept placing the anatomical drawing on her pelvis as her construction progressed. For some reason, it never felt quite right.

At the very end, I hesitantly placed the mask over her face just to see what might transpire...That was the moment that the spark ignited the flame of my creation. She took on a tribal quality that embodied strength, wisdom, beauty, protection, healing and joy! These are the qualities that I will move forward with into this new courageous phase of my life...

I have been experiencing many days of not feeling well recently. It is difficult for me to photograph and post my work...Please continue to stay in touch with me. My art blog family is an essential and cherished part of my life!

My surgery date is set for January 26th. I am asking all of my friends and family to think of me during the half hour before my procedure which will be between 8:45-9:15 AM Mountain Time. The surgery will begin at 9:20AM. Mark your calendars and wrap me in a blanket of love made up of all of the healing colors of the sea...you can throw in some shells and seaweed and don't forget the mermaids...

Angel Blessings for the New Year

Here is an angel that I sold at Christmas. She holds the energy of the Great Mother. She is connected to the earth and the sky. I had so much fun creating her. I call her the "Eclectic Angel." She reminds me of an old world Santa laden with gifts. Her gifts are purely spiritual in nature and filled with abundance and joy!

I am filled with joy and gratitude as I enter this new year. I have experienced so many miracles this season. Facing my upcoming surgery has brought me deep opportunities for healing my past. The healing process is creating new space within me that is rapidly being filled with light, hope, and grace...Amazing how facing difficulties can lead to the clearest path to ourselves, others, and our connection to our own spirits, the universe, and to God...

I am grateful for all of my friends and family who are supporting me so tremendously at this time. I am often moved to tears by the support that I am receiving from my newer and most special art blog family...It is so amazing and affirming to form bonds so quickly with like minded, gifted, wise, creative women so filled with love and huge compassionate hearts...

And, of course, gratitude for my animal family...more soul shamans in my life...Frenchy and George, the large red fox who lives nearby, and the Great Horned Owl who calls to me daily from the tree just outside of my upstairs office window...