"Resurgence"

"Resurgence" in Process

Here is my first painting in so very long...in process. I realized today that I have been having such a lovely time pouring over the images in everyone elses blogsites...It is time for me to return to myself. Find my artistic voice once again...always in a new way. Following so much turmoil and trauma after my year of many moves and so much loss. New beginnings are emerging. Like the brightest green sprouts of new grass...bursting through the now melting ice.

I allowed myself today to simply get my brush moving...both rapidly and slowly. I had to remind myself of the words that I use with my students when helping them to move through blocks and judgments and fears and frozen feelings. The flow is returning. Slowly. In its own time. In its own way. Patience. Presence. Breath. Trust. Trust in the process. All I have to do is show up. And...get out of my own way. Isn't this the key to life? It is to mine anyway...

PAINT WASHING SUNDAY

My Lascaux Resonance Gouache paints are infused with Bio-information. They smell like essential oils and have healing properties. So delectable!

I resurrected many of my paints today! It looks like someone has been murdered in technicolor in my bathtub...Not to mention my clothes and my glasses!

I found a nice oak easel on craigslist yesterday...and a table to hold my paints and brushes. More new beginnings...Or at least, finding my way back to myself in small, and sometimes large, gestures. I placed the easel so that I can observe my creations from my bed when I wake up in the mornings.

George is my studio manager. He oversees all projects. He has been spending a lot of time holding the space underneath my new easel!

Frenchy was thrilled that I stayed home this morning to splash paint all over the bathroom. It made me a captive audience for his ball throwing obsession...

New Beginnings

A year of letting go, grief, and loss...Preparing for new...a new year...a new home in Denver...Joyful return to my art, MYSELF, and my blog!...slowly rebuilding...
Small Mandalas kept me connected to my art and to my soul during the turmoil...

So happy to begin the reconnection process and to have a new home...in a new city! I lost everything I owned six months ago...including my clothes, my furniture, my bed, my art supplies...I still have what is most important...my soul, my animals, and my friends. I learned a lot in this transition. Life is not about "things." It IS about art though!!! I feel the spark of creativity igniting once again deep in my soul. I am curious to see what will be revealed next...I sense a Phoenix rising from the ashes...(Interesting that one of my last creations was "My Homeless Self." I think I'll be making a lovely, joyful "Home" as my first project this year!!!)

New Dolls and Soul Doll Workshop

The Scarab Ox Woman came from a combination of two dreams. One dream was about being rescued and supported in a victorious way from an abusive situation. There was a giant, powerful Ox standing in the doorway to support me unequivocally. I have also been having dreams about ancient giant beetles. I was immediately mesmerized by an assortment of vintage Egyptian scarab beads that one of the participants in my Soul Doll workshop brought to sell.


My Homeless Self came through in a powerful way after watching the movie "The Soloist." I think that we all have some form of her deep inside of us. A longing for "home." It may be a part of the nature of being human and experiencing a separation from the Divine. I love the shopping cart! It turns on a dime. I also used photographs of me when I was a child. I am sitting in the mini-cart being held by the larger self doll.


A photo "tree" attached to the shopping cart with pictures of me with my father.


Close up of my two selves safely contained in their shopping carts. The cart is adorned with strings of tiny brass Indian bells and miniature wind chimes! There is also a Native American dream catcher on the bow of the cart.


Participants in my "Soul Doll" workshop at Tactile Arts Center in Denver!

Hello everyone! Apparently, I have taken a summer break from blogging...I am starting to, finally, feel like myself again following my surgery. Even better than before! I am now teaching my "Soul Doll" workshops which is a dream come true for me. I will post my Spring schedule soon. Thanks for your support on my journey back!

Sand Tray Extravaganza

I took this photo the night that I completed this Sand Tray. Buddha is watching from above and Hanuman sits on the altar table below...He reminds us that we are spiritual beings...

A full daytime view of the gathering...


Here is one of my "Alchemical Warriors." She is being held in the arms of the Great Mother. I feel a sense of peace when I look at her.


This photo shows a statue of Gaia sitting below Quan Yin. You can also see a wonderful wooden horse puppet who lost his strings. Another "Warrior" is leaning against the horse. She has a large green crystal heart on her body.


Another "Alchemical Warrior" with an African porcupine quill for a sword. He's riding in BaBa Yaga's pestle!

I like this mysterious night view of two folk art dolls with the wooden horse. They are standing in front of a mounted Nature Mandala.


Here is the "Pink Goddess Alchemical Warrior." She has an owl and a carved, wooden Japanese Netsuke that is a snake. I painted a design on this feather..


You can see part of another "Alchemical Warrior" on the left. She has a large blue muscle shell on the front of her body. I love how Mary watches over all of the activity...

In my graduate program in Counseling Psychology, we spent the entire day Friday exploring sand trays. The moment that I arrived home, I realized that the carved antique boat given to me by a friend was about to be transformed into a giant sand tray. The next day, I brought 300 pounds of sand into the middle of my living room and set to work. The transformation that took place both physically and spiritually was profound. It turned into a giant healing altar that is giving me great comfort and delight!

A few weeks ago I had six dolls pour through my fingers at once. I call them my "Alchemical Warriors." They represent important parts of myself. They are all participating in this tray. I have included pictures of three of them from close angles.

This week, I have been building a new set of shelves next to the sand tray so that my collection of objects for the tray can be readily visible for the creation of many more trays. I have asked friends to participate if they would like to contribute any found objects to this evolving project. I use everything that feels appropriate...angels, driftwood, bones, shells, toy figures, dolls, statues...The possibilities are limitless. I can feel my soul soaring just thinking about it!

Art Doll Quarterly "Mystic Bride" and More!

Here is my"Mystic Bride" bead and bone doll published this week in the Spring issue of Art Doll Quarterly! Look for two more in the Summer issue!



Here is a close-up of her beaded features...I incorporated sea glass and butterflies into the design of her face. She has winsome eyes. She may be longing for a Prince who is more than just a frog...


A lovely surprise healing Mermaid from my friend, Ellen! She arrived in a gold tin box with a coveted scrap of gold lame fabric. Delicious! I feel better already! Thank you Ellen!


A "Guardian Spirit" for my surgery sent to me by my dear friend Bobbi. I was actually able to bring the spirit doll with me into the operating room!


These dolls came through as a set of three sisters just before my surgery. The third sister is Japanese. She has not revealed herself completely yet. This is Elderisa and The Mermaid. The first time that I held Elderisa in my arms, I wept. She reminded me of holding my babies for the first time. She helped me to access the many feelings that I had regarding the loss of my uterus. They both stayed in my bed with me in the hospital!


My Kitty and Amelia dolls came from my beautiful and talented friend, Dot in Australia. I ended up receiving an unexpected gift of a real kitten, George, while Dot's creation was winging its way across the seas! The Amelia doll was wearing the same pink bell that George has on his collar when she arrived! George loves her too! These two creations kept me smiling in the hospital...They were a part of the "Art Tour" that gathered more attendance each day in my room!


I was so excited to find this nest last night when I walked out to get my mail! It feels so hopeful to me as I continue on my path to recovery...I wonder what eggs will grow inside of my "new nest" as the Springtime unfolds for me...


It actually looks like a heart without the bowl...I always thought of my uterus as my second heart...

Angel Blessings for the New Year

Here is an angel that I sold at Christmas. She holds the energy of the Great Mother. She is connected to the earth and the sky. I had so much fun creating her. I call her the "Eclectic Angel." She reminds me of an old world Santa laden with gifts. Her gifts are purely spiritual in nature and filled with abundance and joy!

I am filled with joy and gratitude as I enter this new year. I have experienced so many miracles this season. Facing my upcoming surgery has brought me deep opportunities for healing my past. The healing process is creating new space within me that is rapidly being filled with light, hope, and grace...Amazing how facing difficulties can lead to the clearest path to ourselves, others, and our connection to our own spirits, the universe, and to God...

I am grateful for all of my friends and family who are supporting me so tremendously at this time. I am often moved to tears by the support that I am receiving from my newer and most special art blog family...It is so amazing and affirming to form bonds so quickly with like minded, gifted, wise, creative women so filled with love and huge compassionate hearts...

And, of course, gratitude for my animal family...more soul shamans in my life...Frenchy and George, the large red fox who lives nearby, and the Great Horned Owl who calls to me daily from the tree just outside of my upstairs office window...

King George the Christmas Kitty

He immediately hopped into an antique boat that many of my dolls (and bones!) live in in my living room.

He is happy to sail with them on adventures...

...and to stretch out with his new friends for a long winter's nap!


George Takes The Spirit House By Storm!

He is truly a magical being...fortunately, the angels are tied down!

I stopped by the local, lovely pet supply store for a bag of dog food. Well, I came home with a new kitty. A woman was holding an amazing six month old kitten and visiting with me. Her friend, Ann, who bred the cats was there as well. We talked and I asked how much that breed of cat would cost. He is a Scottish Fold...She said that some sell for as much as $1,000.00. Then she said that she would be happy to give me one as a gift. How could I refuse? I told her that I wanted this kitten's brother. Somehow, I knew that this cat was meant to be with me-sight unseen! She showed up at my house forty minutes later with my beautiful kitten! Thank you for the wonderful gift, Ann!

I named him King George. He loves to crawl into my arms and purr for long periods of time. He likes to give kisses and mark my forehead as well. Truly an honor! He is definitely a healing cat. It feels like he has lived with Frenchy and me always. George and Frenchy actually playfully shared one of Frenchy's balls today!

I am intrigued by the fact that my friend Dot in Australia had just finished making a special kitty doll for me to take with me to the hospital. Thank you Dot! I had no intention of getting a real kitty but in some wonderful way, her kitty manifested in my life! Now I will have two kitties. Which one do you think should come to the hospital with me?

The Owl King

I love his wise flower eyes!




Here he is with The Keeper of the Keys.

This is “The Owl King.” He came through immediately following the completion of “Keeper Of The Keys.” I seem to have numerous forms of owls presenting themselves to me both in my art dolls and my daily life. I was playing with a piece of batik fabric when I spotted a tree branch design that looked like a beak. My hands took over from there and before I knew it, I was stuffing this whimsically regal owl.

Like his predecessor, the “Keeper Of The Keys,” he has a large key attached to his chest. The beaded picot edging was inspired by Robin Atkins’ designs in her book Spirit Dolls. I used two multi-faceted beads with green flowers on them for the intensely playful eyes. The beak is constructed from multiple shapes and sizes of bronze-toned beads.

The frog is a Japanese design carved out of wood. I added an antique Chinese coin to the leaf that holds the frog. Many of my creations contain a frog element right now. The frogs are playful and they represent transformation. I used to collect pollywogs in the lagoon next to my beach house where I grew up. I loved watching them transform into frogs.

“The Owl King” also has a bronze-toned wreath of acorns combined with filigree gold trim for a crown. I used three golden metal leaves to embellish his right wing. He actually embodies qualities of both the owl and the frog. He represents a metamorphosis himself!

I am also experiencing a deep process of metamorphosis myself as I face the many details and emotions related to my hysterectomy in January. The winter solstice takes place this weekend. I am emerging from a dark time into the light. I am experiencing a sense of reconnection as I examine many parts of my life. The emotions that have been flooding through me over the past week are providing me with a deep sense of healing and cleansing of issues from the past. Not an easy process but filled with beauty and renewal...

Snow Angels

My"Snow Angel" complete with an elaborate sash around her waist...



I love his melty, green eye!

I work on the dementia unit at a nursing facility in Boulder. My favorite resident died today...I had a feeling something was very wrong. No one seemed to understand that she was actively dying. I was the only one in the room with her and having no luck in trying to calm her. Everyone thought that she was just sick.

I pulled a chair up to her bed side and listened. I finally discerned the word from her agitated state-It was "Pray." I said, "Anna, do you want me to pray with you?" She said yes and continued with her agitated babbling. I prayed and saw a group of her very own angels surrounding her in comfort. I had to leave for the doctor...I just learned that she died soon after I left.

My mother died at Christmas. I was the only one there for her as well...the lyrics to the Sarah McLachlan song came to mind when I shared my story about Anna..."In the arms of the angels. Fly away from here..." It was the song that was popular at the time my mother died. I ached for a mother to hold me. I talked with a friend about the fact that being there for Anna may have been the purpose for having the job at the nursing facility. I may have truly made a difference in the life of another. I know she made a difference in mine!

I do believe that we have angels in each of our lives and that we may be angels for others when we least expect it. I went to bed last night with a sense of miracles...

Early this morning, when I stepped into the snow filled courtyard, I saw an angel constructed out of snow...miracles and angels...After I took the photo, I realized that my imagined angel was actually the backside of a snowman! He has a Haagen Das ice cream container for a hat and the funny pages from the Sunday paper for a scarf!

Believing can manifest in such simple and profound ways. Sometimes following the darkest night...Do you believe in miracles?

"The Guardian"

He and Frenchy, on his right, are mirroring each other...


Here is an amazing being who came through a few months ago. I call him "The Guardian" because his presence is so powerful. I came across a piece of an old fur coat that I had discovered in the garage of an old house. The moment my fingers touched the thick, soft fur, I felt this doll beginning to emerge. I worked straight through as he poured through my fingers. This was the first time that I started using my kitchen forks for claws...I finally had to buy a new set of cutlery!

I love his expressive face and lanky, long, legs accented by the forks. He has a wonderful long, feathery tail that gives him a bird-like quality. He is kind of a combination human, cheetah, and bird...Magical and mysterious! I am featuring him today because I have been spending some extra time with him. I will be selling him to help pay for my upcoming surgery...In fact, I believe that he is already sold...to a very good home!

Art Doll Soup

Here is a photo of an emerging doll. The birth process has been complicated. She keeps speaking to me and telling me different things. Yesterday afternoon I finally had to go for a drive-for four hours!-because I couldn't tell what she was asking for. I beaded her face a few weeks ago. Her hair came through late last night after my "fresh air" drive. It was so much fun to make! I stayed up way too late...

She keeps telling me that she is a mermaid from the sea. Then she begs to wear a cape of glittery, jewel-toned, flowing, synthetic fabric...I am torn between getting my hands deep into the gifts from the sea and following her to a disco party! For a while she was "The Handless Maiden." Now she is the armless, headless...making up her mind maiden...I will be patient. Wait and listen. Art cannot be forced...She is already quite fabulous and so beautiful...She actually looks in the photo like she just washed up on a sandy shore...I feel that way quite often myself...Actually, this is exactly how I am feeling today!

My Plastic Self

I made this doll from a dream. She is "My Plastic Self." Making her was a powerful and transformative process. I used the sketch that I made following the dream. She is made of clear plastic. It was a fun experiment to hand embroider the stitches that define her through the plastic. I was wonderfully surprised when a clear pocket in her chest began to fill with jewels from the sea and sky, hearts, and a glow-in-the-dark fairy to watch over it all. Her hair is from a horse's tail and mane. She is so simple and so very complex all at once. Just like me...